Am I just getting old?

Do you know what? I am so totally not feeling christmassey. Everywhere I go I'm surrounded by a full on attack of christmas, shops, radio, the office.

I really don't care. I feel a bit like I'm pretending, or like I'm an actor in my life at the moment. Everything is going on around me and I'm just letting it happen.

Things aren't all bleak, - for example I'm looking forward to a break from work, and I'm looking forward to spending quality time with my family.

It just has absolutley nothing christmassey about it! I wish I could just eat a mince pie or drink some gluwein and it would instantly turn on my fairy lights, but I've tried and it hasn't worked.

If this is what being a grown up is like, and I have to put up with this every year from now on, I'm going to be really gutted.

Is it me?

all you need is love, and an inhaler!

london 019
Originally uploaded by memmsy

Well we went to London last week. A lovely time all round, although quite frankly how anyone manages to live in that city is beyond me. Everyone runs, EVERY where, regardless of the location or the time of day, people behave as if they are running to get to the last train out of a doomed city. It’s ridiculous. At times it totally overwhelmed us.

A good mooch around the British Museum was had, although again, the area I really wanted to hang out in – ancient Egypt was also the area the rest of the tourist population wanted to be in too. Mostly people seemed to want to have their photo taken infront of glass cases full of mummies. I’ve no idea why and actually it seemed rather mawkish.

The most unfortunate part of the weekend was my inability to climb the 193 steps at covent garden train station. Well, I did climb it, but it left me feeling so dreadfully ill when I got to the top that it had a bit of a negative effect on my afternoon. I felt really embarrassed as Jon hardly broke a sweat and there I was feeling shocking.

It wasn’t just an ordinary set of stairs, don’t get me wrong – it’s an emergency exit, and has warning signs, telling you not to use the steps unless you really want to.

But it left me feeling fat, unfit, embarrassed and like an invalid.

weird day

good day? weird day?

• went to gym - good
• didn't get up early enough to do a long work out - bad
• change is a foot at work, steep learning curve - bad
• this leads to new challenges and knowledge - good
• Went to an amazing deli to get a sandwich - good
• went arse over tit on the way out and hit my shin and bad hip - v. bad (dignity also slightly damaged)
• Long and emotional session with hypnotherapist touching on some dark stuff - bad
• Feeling better after he has helped me to see some light at the end of the tunnel - good
• going to see the new twilight film tongiht - street cred ruined - bad
• lots of hunky men running around with no shirt on - good

lots to process.

odd job

20/11/2009
Originally uploaded by memmsy

now, this is going to seem like the lamest excuse, but I didn't go to the gym this morning...... because I found a dog!

Last night on my way home I found this little chap running in the road at 11pm. After looking for his owner with no luck I popped him in my car and took him home.

I then had to wake up Jon and explain why there would be a small dog in the kitchen when he woke up!

I'm now sat at home waiting for the dog warden to come and collect him. I've fed him crackers with pate on, as thats the only vaguely dog suitable food in the house, and he turned his nose up at crackers without the pate!

He is smelly and a little needy, but I rather like him. Anyway, I promise to go to the gym as soon as possible, and I thank the lord that I work for a company that doesn't sack me when I phone them up to say I'm looking after a stray dog for the morning.

My life is getting more random.

jingle....

Not the best photo of Nic and myself to be found, but Hark! Hark! The christmas market is on its way. Hundreds of little wooden sheds are being erected around the city and covered in fairl lights. In about a week they will open up and start selling over priced craft, chocolates, and booze.

This is great news. Over the past few years I've worked out that as a source of gifts for christmas the markets are not economically viable and actually don't sell anything you really like or want, however - they don't half make me feel 'christmassey'

Glugging Gluhwien when I'm freezing cold, burning my mouth on huge bratwurst, drinking hot cider, watching macaroons being freshly made... then eating them...

ahhhh.

I LOVE IT. I am going to be destitute and sat at my desk reeking of amaretto before the month is out. uh oh.

If anyone wants to join me, just shout!

So I'd forgotten that work had set us up with a sort of mini health insurance programme. I pay a bit and they pay a bit and I'm covered for various private treatments! To my overseas readers, the UK is blessed to have a national health service, which means free health care for everyone, but as a result of this it can be slow, very oversubscribed and our GP's don't do extra checks unless they really have to.

I've not claimed anything back yet and my colleague pointed out that seeing as I'm feeling crap I can go and have a 'well woman' check at BUPA ..... this is like an M.O.T, they'll poke and prod me in all manner of ways and look at my wee. Hurrah.

Now I'm pretty certain that the main response from these people will be - you are too fat and unfit, but I can cope with that bit. I just need them to do the other stuff to make sure that nothing else is bothering me. It costs alot of money, so I would never normally do something like this but seeing as I get it for free (sort of!) I'm going to give it a try.

Doctors in the morning to ask them to check my thyroid. Then off to see the lovely Martin, to let him look at my feet ( I can claim for podiatry too! - I'll let you know how that goes later!)

Mid Loaf Crisis

Jon pointed out that would be a good blog post for me during a discussion on our bread machines capability to carry on making bread for a certain amount of time if the power gets shut off. Not long enough to make a loaf of bread, but hey ho!

I'm totally off kilter and out of sorts at the moment. Don't really feel like myself. I actually slept in today. Don't know whether I forgot to turn the alarm off or whether in actual fact I turned if off in my sleep. I was actually having some really nice solid sleep when I rolled over and glanced at the clock to notice it was already 9:15 - but funnily enough that woke me right up!

I've noticed I'm spelling things wrong, forgetting stuff and generally being a bit of an idiot. So I've booked myself in to see the doctor next week. I expect it's probably nothing, but after having felt off for several months now, it would be foolish to avoid it any longer.

I'm avoiding lots I think. I've not been policing myself about food or exercise at all. This is to be expected and isn't a nightmare, I just don't know how to get back on track, so I've done what has been needed for ages, and booked myself in to see my hypnotherapist again. Long overdue really, but it's an expensive thing to be doing when it's not entirely necessary.

I've just lost my mojo in general - if anyone has seen it, please can you pop it in a ziplock bag and send it back??

interesting news

Link to an interesting BBC news story on Fattism. Not exactly rocket science, but heartening to know it's being discussed!

I made a comment but they rarely get added.

Grunt, pant, argh, huff, puff

Guess what I did today?

If you haven't guessed, I dontated blood. I'm not the squeamish type, so these things don't really bother me, but I realised it had been far too long since I last did it, and our offices are really close to the donation place, so I seized the moment. There was a minor gushing incident at the end, but all seems well now. I'll probably end up with my arm covered in bruises, but I think it's a worthy cause

If you can do it - DO IT!

Man, I'm tired. Managed the gym this morning, which is good, as I'd slipped in to a once a week ritual, which really isn't good enough.

After avoiding the cross trainer for a month or so to rest my hip, I realised it was time to get back on the horse (or machine if you rather) - and just did 10 minutes. I did all my other stuff too, and to be honest by the end of it I was really knackered.

My heart rate monitor doohickey told me I was exercising for 38 minutes with an average heartrate of 125 - which is pretty high actually, I thank the cross trainer for this - and a rather determined effort on the rowing machine.

Speaking of rowing machines, it's not getting any easier! 5 minutes is my absolute max, but hey, if it's tiring me out, then it's working, so I'll keep doing it.

My gym timing is definitley off because since my post about the gym grunter, as we have been changing next door to each other every time since! I was worried after my post that I was over reaccting and giving her a hard time. I was SO not. She sounds sooooo silly. Grunt, pant, argh, huff, puff.

tidy time

So the blog is getting a bit messy.

This is great as I've done soooo much exercise that the list goes on and on and on. As I'm a stats junky, I'm loathed to get rid of it, so after some thought I realised that Google Docs could probably do what I wanted, and it can!

So if you look at the top left (well, down from the top a bit) you'll see a new section saying

Stuff that was getting in the way, so I moved it here!

• Year 1 Exercise Statistics

You can click on the link (if you so wish) and be taken to a web page holding all the data from year one of my exercise programme.)

*Smug face*